Discouraged and Alone



  • Re: This is a safe place

    Hi there,

    I am new to this, so please forgive me if I am doing it incorrectly.

    So far I am still working with the medical community to get a clear, satisfactory diagnosis. This is difficult, frustrating and disappointing.

    Also, I feel quite alone in my struggle. My friends and family try to support but they don't really understand what I am experiencing. I have so much to be grateful for in my life and yet I have days like today. Today I feel low, discouraged and alone.

    Any words of wisdom and encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks,
    Shelbelle



  • @hutchman What you are describing is a common experience we hear often from people in pain. As we often say at Pain BC, "You are not alone." An article on our website gives a bit more insight: "The kind of depression that emerges from chronic pain conditions is usually reactive – it occurs as a reaction to our experience of unrelenting pain and associated limitations and losses."

    It is great that you are being proactive – it is so inspiring to hear! If you like, we have some mental health articles on depression on our website. You can take an assessment as well. https://www.liveplanbe.ca/pain-education/depression



  • Yes...being alone is the worst thing. That's why I'm on this site. I would really like to connect with like minded people. I can't walk at the moment and so cannot work either. My pain gets bad sometimes and is reaggrivated every night from a nerve disorder I have...well I'm calling it that, since no one is really sure what is going on! The lack of answers is so frustrating. But here's the thing. I have found that I am different than I was before the pain. Depressed is the best way to describe it. So now I am trying to kick start my brain with things that I'm passionate about, to give me happiness and fill my day. I'm not sure what this actually means yet!..but trying to figure it out. I think if I can get out of this depressive state things will start to improve. The thing is that I think the depression has changed my brain, so I'm taking my brain back! Hope you're having a better day today! Let's keep the conversation going. ☺



  • Hey there,

    It never gets easier but the best thing to do is focus on the light and not the darkness. Be sad and angry but find ways to be kind to yourself. It's ok to want to have that feeling of just staying home. Family and friends don't know what to say because chronic pain is the invisible disease that unfortunately is subjective to the individual and never goes away.

    BUT! it does get better!

    Find good alternative practitioners like physiotherapy, counselling (important), and naturopathic doctors. And don't stop talking about what you are going through. Shine a light on the invisible struggle you are going through. Just remember to always add that positive, and kind:), spin on it. And don't give up!

    I have been dealing with pain for almost 6 years and still have not found out what is going on. It's hard but I now come to relize that I can't give up. You shouldn't either!

    Be kind to yourself, Shelbelle;)

    V



  • @Shelbelle Yes, it's easy to feel discouraged and alone. You're right, many friends and family don't really understand. Maybe it would help to provide them some literature and tell them what you need. You could share this friends and family brochure with them... https://www.painbc.ca/sites/default/files/PainBC_TrifoldBrochure-ChronicPainHurtsEveryone-11-09-15-WebsiteOnly.pdf

    What things would you like your friends and family to do and say that would be helpful? They may not realize that they're not 'helping' as much as you need. Also, it helps to connect with other people in pain. Hopefully, you'll meet others on this forum.


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